Happy First Birthday
It is amazing to me that you are one. I know it goes by fast. I learned that with your brother. It just doesn't seem possible. I think I almost feel like you are always going to be the baby. Your the little brother. I think I really am going to have to consciously stop myself from always treating you like the baby. You are growing and learning everyday. I have loved watching you grow into your own little person. I try not to compare you to Desmond but you guys are so different that it's hard for me not to.
You don't talk yet but I haven't met anyone who didn't understand you. You are very clear on what you want. You grunt, growl, and yell about everything. It seems to me that you are going to be a very passionate kid. You get so angry when things don't go your way and honestly a lot of times I can't help but laugh. You get so serious so quickly. I hope you always keep that passion but maybe lose the anger.
I guess I shoudn't be surprised that you are a Daddy's boy. Your brother was at this age too. The minute you hear him walk through the door in the evenings you shoot for the kitchen. I love watching you two play, your Daddy loves to make you giggle and you make him laugh, a lot. He often puts everything down when he gets home and spends time with you before doing anything else. He doesn't say it but I think it makes him feel really good that most of the time you prefer him to me. I'm oddly O.K. with this fact too. Your Daddy is amazing and I hope you never take that for granted, though I know you will because what child doesn't.
One of my greatest fears has melted since you were born. I was so scared of what your relationship with your brother would be like. He was such a Momma's boy that I worried how he would feel with you getting so much attention. He has been so excited about you since day one. When we brought you home all he wanted to do was be close and touch you. When ever we go out he introuduces you to everyone. "This is my brother, his name is Benjamin." I don't know how long he will do this but I love how proud he is that you are ours. You two make each other laugh and play so well. Sometimes he's too rough with you but he doesn't mean it so don't take it too personally. He really does love you and care about you. You won't remember these things when you are older so I always want you to know this. He has cried when you cry, several times. He gets very upset if he thinks we are going to leave you anywhere. He has pleaded with the nurses not to give you shots because "He's just a baby!" He takes things out of your hands if he thinks you might try to eat it. I've never really seen him get angry with you and that makes me so happy. I want your brother to be your best friend and your protector. I think he is on his way there.
As for me, I love tickling your shoulder and watching you squeal in delight. I love the clicking noise you make with your mouth when you want to nurse. I enjoy watching you learn and seeing how your brain works. I think I may underestimate the things you are capable of until we try them and I see how amazing you are. I think it is my brain's attempt to keep you little. I promise I will stop doing that. I adore our cuddle time that we have most days. I love that even if you aren't sleepy, if I lay with you on the couch you will still lay there and cuddle on me. I love how well you are able to play by yourself. You will spend long amounts of time just standing at your brother's toy box pulling all the toys out. You love looking at books and turning the pages. Even more than playing by yourself you enjoy when your brother plays with you. You also love when Daddy and I play with you but you don't require our entertainment as often as your brother did. It cracks me up that anytime you hear any beat or music you start to dance. You have your own set of unique dance moves and they are adorably hilarious. I wondered when I was pregnant with you if you would be just like your brother or if everything would be different. I can honestly say that I don't know if you guys could be much more different. You both have one thing in common. Neither of you know how to sleep worth crap. So with that I end this letter saying, please sleep. Mommy and Daddy are exhausted. We would be much more fun if we could just sleep. I promise!
We love you Benjamin and we can't imagine our lives with out you in it. Happy Birthday baby.
And then, in true rock-star fashion...
He was done.
When you are pregnant with your second child you often wonder, how will I ever love another child as much as my first? Then just like the Grinch, your heart grows another size. My heart has grown exponentially in the last year and I am one blessed Momma.-Rachael
I am a mom and a photographer. My love of motherhood led me to photograph all things from bellies to birth and beyond.